Happy New Year!!

I’m so glad that the beginning of a New Year is just a day on the calendar.  For this girl, I’m declaring February 1 to be the beginning of my New Year!

2018 was my year of Change…. My slogan for the year was Do It Scared.  I did a lot of things way out of my comfort zone and at times, I was so scared of failure.

For years I’ve been wanting to do a Farm to Table Dinner here, featuring the meats we raise.  April 21 was the day I’d chosen and put on my calendar.  Seriously, once it was on the calendar I knew it had to happen. And it did….and the evening was magical and exceeded my expectations!

September.  For years I’d been wanting to open a Farm Stay, a place where guests could come to rest, unplug and rejuvenate.  I started working on one of the bedrooms a couple of years ago and I finished the second one during the summer of 2018.  I’d filled in all the forms for Airbnb but hadn’t hit send.  I was so worried about what others would say about my farm. I wasn’t sure I could keep the “critiques” separate from being personal.  The farm still wasn’t exactly where I wanted it to be, but would it ever?  I finally hit “send” and opened our Farm Stay.  My first guests arrived September 25 and they were fabulous!!!  Their stay was everything I’d dreamed guests would experience while staying at the farm.

And my word for the year of 2018 was Change

May. Ali, my youngest, graduated from high school.  I’d set a date for my “new career.”  I needed a hard date to realize there would be a major change in how life’s daily activities would be lived out.  No more car pool.  No more homework.  No more school functions.  No more schoolbooks to order.  Twenty five years of homeschooling ended when Ali walked across that stage with her diploma in hand.

October.  Ali moved out of our home to spread her own wings and to experience life.  She’s done amazingly well and I couldn’t be more proud.  Such a huge change for me….so many thoughts, so many feelings. So much major change in one year!  I was now officially an empty nester.  I tried to prepare myself for this day….but there is no preparation.  For 30 years I had focused on raising our children.  For 30 years I did my best to raise, educate, and attend to their needs… 24/7.  I LOVE being mom and I LOVED having children in our home.  I get it, I’ll always be Mom but the relationships are different when they move out.  The “difference” is great but there is always a part of me that will miss the times they were living at home.  The laughter and energy and conversations and kisses goodnight.

And then came December…..

“Change” and “Do It Scared” collided at the end of December and sent me flying, face first, into the dust of the ground.  January 1, 2019 found me wiping my tear stained cheeks and trying to lift my head to see what was ahead for me.  I had two choices.  I could waste my energy wallowing in my sorrow and disappointment or I could redirect my energy to something useful, like getting up and washing my face. 

I chose to wash my face.

A month’s journey has found me stronger with a clearer vision for my future.  A handful of truths are tucked tightly in my heart.  One day at a time, one answer at a time.  My community to sustain me and there to hug me on tough days. And I made it to my New Year on February 1, 2019!!  So here’s to finding our true selves, picking ourselves up when life kicks you from behind, and to taking one day at a time, one step at a time.

My new word and phrase for this year?  Trust and trusting the process to bigger dreams!!