I’ve made a decision.  Not so unusual for me, I make them all day long!  Sometimes too quickly and I regret them later but not this time.

I need to journal more about real stuff.  The stuff that really matters to me – the real ups and downs of family and homesteading and homeschooling and friends and, well, you get the idea.

The hospital stay in May kinda did a number on my outlook for my remaining years – however many that may be.

So in these past couple of months I’ve been asking myself the hard question:

what do I want my life to count for in the end.

Pretty heady stuff.

The answers don’t come easily and I’m forcing myself not to make decisions quickly.

I’m thinking I may not be the only one who thinks about these things.

I wanted a place where we could share together…a corner where we could  be very candid with one another.

I envision a huge get together somewhere… and way over in the corner of  the garden under the arbor, I’m with my close friends who share life with me.

Together we talk about issues that really matter.

The issues you don’t just share with anyone…only those who have made it a point to let you know – you really matter to them and they won’t judge you or ridicule, even when they don’t agree.

They’ll hold your hand and listen in the tough times;

and they’ll laugh out loud and genuinely share in the celebration of the good times.

Journal entry:

Today I’m starting a juice fast for 10 days.  Reason?  I need to get serious about my weight and my health.  I’m on blood pressure medication and I don’t like it.  Now, if I do everything I’m able to and still need the medication to keep my BP under control, I’m okay with that and will be grateful for the meds.  But I haven’t done everything I can.

Today I start with a detox to rid my body of toxins.  While I’m on my juice fast, I intend to research the next step to maintaining a healthy diet.  It’s not that I don’t have access to good food – we grow a lot of it.  It’s all the “extras” that get purchased and brought into the house.  I believe in moderation too, that an occasional processed item is okay.  My problem is, I give into myself too often and because of that, I have a weight problem.  “you play, you pay”   It’s time I seriously look at the consequences of those choices.

So today I had my last cup of coffee for 10 days.  And so far, this is what I’ve had for breakfast and lunch –

Now I’m drinking lots of water to help flush my system.

The kicker in all of this will be the self-discipline to follow through…

This morning Tori and Nathan went out and bought 2 dozen Dunkin Donuts for a breakfast celebration of Lauren’s return 🙂

The moment of real vulnerability – beginning weight: 181.6   (agh!!  I can’t believe I actually put that in here!)